Memoirs Of A Malfoy
by sweet simplicity
Summary: Lucius can't sleep one night, so he goes into his study and writes his memoirs, trying to prove to himself that his life hasn't been pointless... my first HP fic, r/r!
1. Prologue

**Memoirs of A Malfoy**

Disclaimer: I dun own any of the HP characters, or anything that has to do with HP, only my made-up characters are mine ^^   
Author's Note: Hey everybody! Okai Lucius might be outta character, but I believe he really is like this inside. if u dun like it, o wellz~ flames will be used to make s'mores ^.~ reviews are welcomed. sorry the prologue is soooooooo short! it will get longer as the story goes on, promise... okaiz~ i fixed some mistakes, enjoy!   
**Dedicated To The Ones Who Lost Their Lives In The Disgusting Act of Terrorism on 9/11/o1**   
May our hearts and prayers go out to the families of the victims... may the Lord give them strength 

.·.

** Prologue**

     I remember, sitting here in my study, the first time I saw Hogwarts. It was a grand castle, with flying buttresses and heavy-glassed windows. Albus Dumbledore wasn't headmaster yet, but Professor Melissa Alacante was in charge. Now that I'm looking back, I decided that my life wasn't a total waste. I have a loving wife, and I sired a son, who, by far, has a better soul than I. As I look back, I realized I wasn't always evil. I just wanted to make a name for myself. I thought joining sides with Lord Voldemort could have done just so. 

     I was always under the shadow of my older brother, the great Gabriel Malfoy. He was one of those Slytherins who didn't turn to out to be a dark wizard. He grew up to be an auror, but Voldemort killed him. I can't sit in this room anymore. I have to get out. I wander the manor for awhile and end up at my son's bedroom door. He was away at school, but somehow, I could still hear him breathing, and every now and then, a snore. My wife Narcissa is sleeping. I should get to bed as well, but I wasn't sleepy. 

     I head back into my study and pull out a bunch of parchment and a quill, my very best, and some blue ink. Black ink is dull, and would probably bore the hell out of me. I look at the paper and decided my life story needs to be told. The Malfoy name needs to be clean once again, and my son, needs to know who his father really was, not this calloused shell I now am. 

I look at the parchment, not knowing where to begin. My early childhood years were a complete bore, but going strait to my early teens would be too far, plus I wouldn't know where to begin. After much thought, I decided that I would begin on my eleventh birthday, and a letter, written in emerald green ink from a certain Professor, had arrived for me that morning in this very manor, so many years ago... 


	2. Part One

**Memoirs of a Malfoy   
Part One**

     I woke up early on June 25, my eleventh birthday, and I could smell the house elves cooking breakfast. I quickly jumped out of my bed, threw on my robes, and brushed my teeth. I would've ran down the stairs as well, but my fourteen year old brother, Gabriel, was in the way. "Lucius! Slow down. You'll wake mother. She's still asleep." I stuck out my tounge at him. "Come, Lucius. I believe there's something for you in my room." I followed Gabriel to his room, and he held up his hand. "Wait right here." he said, his eyes twinkling. The next thing I knew, he came back out with a tiny Tawney Owl. "He's just a baby, but by the time you get into school, he'll be big enough to carry letters and anything else of importance." 

    "Thank You, Gabriel!" I never owned an owl before. I never really had the need for one before now, though. "What will you name him, Lucius?" "Ursa." I exclaimed. "Like the bear?" "Yup." He smiled. "I'm ravenous. Let's go eat." Gabriel and I bounded down the stairs to be greated by one of our house elves, Pace. "Good Morning, Masters. Pace has been sent to give this to Master Gabriel." Gabriel nodded to Pace. "Thank You." he answered. A small letter had came for Gabriel with his school supplies list. 

     We made our way into the dinning room to find our father reading the Daily Prophet. "Good Morning, Father." Gabriel called out. "Morning, Father." I pipped up. My father, Andros Malfoy, smiled at us. "Good morning, boys. Happy Birthday, Lucius!" I remembered the warmth in his eyes. Something I seldom show my son. My father handed me a small package. "This is for you." I slowly opened it and it was a pocket watch, Gabriel had one from Grandfather Malfoy. "This watch belonged to your great grandfather." It was an ancient watch, but it was still working and it was beautiful. I never owned anything so valuable. 

     "Thank you father..." I remembered whispering. "I see you like it, son." I looked, up to his silver eyes and smiled. "Father, thank you so much. I'll treasure it forever!" And I did. I gave it Draco when he turned eleven too, but it was like a threat. "Treat it right, Draco, or i'll have your hide for it!" What possessed me to say that? I have no idea. Now let me go on. 

     After breakfast, Gabriel and I practised quiditch. I played seeker and Gabriel was a chaser. During our break, we sat under a tree, drinking pumpkin juice. "Look, an owl!" Gabriel pointed out. I saw the owl swooping down towards where we were. The barn owl dropped a letter on my lap and flew away. "Read it!" Gabriel said. I already knew what it was. It was an acceptence letter to Hogwarts. Gabriel got one almost four years ago. "Dear Mr. Malfoy... I am pleased to inform you that you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry..." 

     It felt like yesterday when I recieved that letter... I could almost smell the ink and parchment... I remembered the look on my father's face and the joy in my mother's eyes. They were planning to send me to France and go to Beauxbatons Academy if I didn't make Hogwarts. Anyway, I must stop digressing! Back to my story. 

     The next day we went off to Diagon Alley to buy me and my brother school supplies. "Don't go near, Knockturn Alley." My father warned me. "Or else." I didn't want to find out what "or else" was. I stood in front of a mirror at Madam Malkin's and I kept looking out the window. "All right, dear, you're finished." I paid Madam Malkin and went in search of my parents, but Knockturn Alley was still stuck in my mind. I decided that I would go there for a quick look. If my parent's didn't know about it, then I would be okay. Besides, it didn't look that bad. Boy, was I wrong. 

    I strolled down Diagon Alley untill it crossed with Kockturn Alley. I made a quick dash down the Alley, and slowed in front of a shop. Dark Magic objects that my father had come across while working for the Ministry were displayed in the window. Hags and Goblins roamed the streets and looked at me. Some wizads snickered at me. I had a feeling they knew I was a Malfoy. I had the classic Malfoy look, blonde hair, pale, and silver eyes. The darkness and the feeling of people watching me in Knockturn Alley scared me, so I ran back towards Diagon Alley. I quickly spotted my brother and went to join him. That was my first experience with dark magic, but certainly not my last. 

    Three months later, school was about to start. I remembered stepping onto Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. The scarlet train that was going to take all the Hogwarts students to the castle stood still on the tracks, proud of it's new paint job. My had brother ran off with a bunch of fourth year boys and said a rushed good-bye to my parents. It was noisy, girls screaming when they saw a friend they haven't seen all summer, boys calling the names of others across the platform, it was almost chaotic. My father saw me to the train, and I found a compartment with a bunch of boys my age. 

     "Hullo, I'm Lucius Malfoy." I greeted, my hand stuck out for a hand shake. The boy had black hair a dark eyes. He shook my hand and smiled a bit. "James Potter. And this is Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and...uhh...and" "Peter Petigrew." said a short plump boy. "Sorry, Peter." James mumbled. "What house do you think you'll be in?" Sirius asked. "Slytherin. My whole family was in Slytherin." James, Sirius, and Remus gave each other a _look_ Peter slid into his seat more. I already knew what was coming. I hate when people hear sometimes un-true things about Slytherin. It is probably the most trashed house at the bloody school! "Ummm... well we gotta head down the train, some of my friends are down there..." James said hurridly. "Come on guys. Nice meeting you Malfoy." They ran off, and I could hear snickering from Black, and worried whispers from Petigrew. 

     That is why I hate the Potter. He didn't even give me a chance. I hate his friends, especially Black, because they followed Potter. They didn't know me. Maybe I would turn out to be a good Slytherin. Who knew? My father did. My mother and my brother as well. But that didn't matter. I told myself that if they didn't want to get to know me, then I wouldn't want to get to know them. Like father, like son, James' boy, Harry, had turned down Draco's hand in friendship as well. 

    Soon two big lugs came on the train. I introduced myself and left off the part about wanting to be in Slytherin. "Adam Goyle." said the one on the left. "Fred Crabbe." We began talking and I came to realized that they weren't exactly the smartest two people in the world. I soon got them to become my bodyguards, like Draco has their sons as his protectors. I bought some cauldron cakes and other sweets and shared them. 

    Two girls wandered into our compartment about an hour later. "Hi! I'm Lily Evens." she said happily. "And this is Carey Moore." Lily was really pretty, I remember. She had auburn hair and the most beautiful green eyes ever. "Lucius Malfoy." I answered, transfixed by her beauty. Crabbe and Goyle introduced themselves. The two girls found little intrest in Crabbe and Goyle, but sat down anyway and we began to have a little conversation. 

    I found out that Lily was a muggle born and Carey was half blood. I didn't care about that back then. The more we talked, I found myself liking Lily more and more. About a half an hour before we were due to arrive at the school, Carey and Lily excused themselves to change into their robes. With a quick good-bye, and well wishes, they left. 

     Once we got to the station, the mass chaos had ensued yet again. Owls were hooting, cats hissing, and loud chatter of students. "First years over here!" came a deep gruff voice. I turned to see a big man with tangled black hair and beetle like eyes. I learned from an older student that he was Rubeus Hagrid, the grounds keeper. Crabbe and Goyle followed him and a bunch of other first years. Goyle spotted Lily and Carey and they spotted us. We said hello once again and followed Hagrid. 

     Hagird led us all into boats and said something about that it was a tradition that the first years arrive in them. We soon found oursleves looking straight ahead towards the Hogwarts castle. We all disembarked and walked towards the enternce. The other students were no where to be seen. Hagrid knocked three times on the giant doors. A wizard came out and smiled at us all. "Thank you Hagrid, I will take over from here. I am Professor Armando Dippet, the deputy headmaster. Welcome to Hogwarts. You will be soon heading into the Great Hall, to be sorted, as soon as the school settles down a bit." A few minutes later, he motioned to us to follow him into the Great Hall. We walked by the tables where the students of the four houses sat. The traditional cat-calls, and other words were thrown about. 

    The teachers sat up front, the Headmistress sat at the very middle. An old witch she was, with gray hair, and a button nose. Blue eyes twinkled underneath her hat, as she watched us arrange ourselves into a disorginized line. A stool was carried in with a raggy old hat on it. The Great Hall beacame silent, as if it were waiting for the hat to do something. The brim ripped open and began to sing a song about the houses. 

     I can't quite remember what it sang, since it was so many years ago, and the hat makes up something new each year. Soon the sorting began. Crabbe was sorted into Slytherin. Cheers errupted from the Slytherin table. A few more people went then it was Lily. She was sorted into Gryffindor, and my heart sank. I was determined to still be her friend though. Goyle was sorted into Slytherin. Soon it was my turn. I put on the hat. Not knowing what to expect, I heard a voice. "Hmmm... brave...but cunning! You're very bright as well, Mr. Malfoy. Gryffindor is not your sort, nor is Ravenclaw. You're too brave for Hufflepuff, so I'll place you in Slytherin!" I smiled and placed the hat back on the stool. Cheers and congratulations were shouted at me from halfway across the Great Hall. Carey was sorted into Ravenclaw. Potter, Black, Lupin, and Petigrew (I have no idea how) all ended up in Gryffindor. 

     I sat down next to my brother, and watched the rest of the sorting. Two new Slytherins were sorted, Lacey Nelson and Christopher Niles. We sat through a bunch of Hufflepuffs, two more Ravenclaws and a Gryffindor before "Russell, Narcissa!" was called. A girl with cornsilk blonde hair and icy blue eyes sat on the stool, and placed the hat on her head. "Slytherin!" it cried. As she walked toward the table, and bunch of boys turned their heads and started to talk to her. She rolled her eyes and kept walking. 

     I saw Lacey motion Narcissa to sit by her and a bunch of other girls and she did, just as Severus Snape was sorted into our house. I looked across the Great Hall, and saw Lily talking with Potter and his friends. I was starting to wish that I was in Gryffindor, even though Potter and his fan club was there. Or maybe Lily would have been sorted into Slytherin... "Isn't that Narcissa pretty?" I heard Goyle mumble to Crabbe and me, intrupting my thoughts. Goyle grunted an answer, and I didn't say anything. I was too busy thinking about Lily. The headmistress made a speech that I didn't hear and then told us to eat. After the banquet, we were sent to our Common Rooms, led by the Prefects. 

     That night, all I could think about was Lily Evens. I couldn't sleep and I wandered out of my room that I shared with Goyle, Crabbe, Severus Snape, and Andrew Parkinson, into the Common Room. There was Narcissa, reading a book. "Hullo." I said. She looked up and smiled. "Hullo. I'm Narcissa Russell." We talked a little bit, and found Narcissa was very interesting, but not like Lily. I discovered Narcissa was very beautiful and very intellegent. Maybe even Head Girl material. 

     The next several months were absolutely monotonous. My friends and I had become very popular with the Slytherins and so had Narcissa and her friends. I still had feelings for Lily by the time autumn came to a close. We had Potions and flying lessons with the Gryffindors, but I barely had time to talk to Lily, who was constantly surrounded by James Potter and his gang. Soon Christmas was approaching. I secretly bought Lily a gift, which I can't quite remember. I find that this happens a lot. My memory isn't exactly what it used to be. 

     Spring had come and gone, and I had made top marks in my house. Lily Evens and James Potter made top marks in our year. It was already clear who would be head boy and head girl when our time had come, but I'll get to that later. Narcissa was crushed, when she found out she ranked second with the girls in our year. Lily still had my heart, and rumour had it that Narcissa had a crush on me, which was flattering. Soon, my first year was over. I had made plans to meet with my friends, Crabbe, Goyle, Severus, and Andrew during the summer. School went on like this until the middle of my fourth year which I will get to as soon as I find more ink... 

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**Author's Note**: Hey ppl. I hope you liked it. ahh yes, another repost! I am still alive... i had to change some things so it could work with the next part I'm writing, and should be out the end of this month or early next month, depending on my evil teachers =\... so0o0o0o look out for it! thanks for all those who reviewed!!!! Green_Pig: Gabriel is Lucius's older brother, who one day will be great, but something happens... Lucius is Draco's father...I tried to space it, buh somehow it didn't up load right...is it oki now? Ayla Pascal: Thanks for the advice, I'll see if I can get inspired somehow to make it descriptive... my mind's eye is going blind! ::sobz:: To Ron, Anonymous, and Marg... thanks =D 


	3. Part Two

**Memoirs of a Malfoy   
Part Two**

**Author's Note:** baq from God knows where ;]... Short. Simple. Writer's Block possibly gone. yay ;D... R/R if u please. Flames will be laughed at. 

*.* 

    I was standing in Madam Malkin's when I actually had a real conversation with Lily again. I haven't talked to her a real conversation since we were on the train as first years. Now we were fourteen years old, and were about to start our fourth year. Rumor had it, that there would be a new student from Beauxbatons joining us because her parents had moved. This year, Professor Dippet became headmaster, and Dumbledore, as Deputy Headmaster, would take his place as head of Gryfindor and professor of Transfiguration. 

    Lily had admitted missing our conversations. We had plans to meet by the Prefects toilet at midnight, every Mondays and Fridays, and the first day of each term. I was really happy, and I hoped to ask Lily to be my girlfriend the first day term started. I was to meet Gabriel at Flourish and Blotts, but I bumped into Potter and his friends first. 

     "What are you so happy about, Malfoy?" Black maliciously asked me. "Nothing." I replied. I was in too much of a good mood to argue with anybody. "Then what is with that nasty grin on your face?" Sirius asked again. "None of your bloody business." I retorted, my anger rising. "Oh come on, lil' Lucius! We'd like to know." "Speak for yourself, Sirius." Lupin said quietly. "Come on, leave him alone. He's not worth the bother." Potter added. He looked at me. "You better stay away from my Lily." "She's not yours." I answered icily. "Just stay away, Malfoy, or else." They all turned around and started to walk away. "Those stinkin Slytherins." Sirius muttered loudly. "All dark wizards, I tell you. He'll be one of them. You'll see." My anger was rising even more. I was ready to run him over with my broom. 

    First he makes fun of me, then he makes fun of my house. Back then, I didn't think I would become a "dark" wizard. I couldn't even dream of it. My father would have probably killed me before I brought any dark arts materials into the manor. But still that wasn't the point. I barely knew them, or talked to them, and they make fun of me like they had nothing better to do. Especially Black. That is why I hate him the most out of the four. When I heard that he was thrown into Azkaban, I felt like I could dance around the manor all day long! 

     After a while, I cooled off, and went on happily through out the day. I couldn't wait for school to begin, so I could see my first love again. Soon the week passed, and the train was to leave on a Sunday. I passed by Lily on the Platform, and she smiled a greeting at me. I smiled back and would've walked over and said hullo, but Potter and his friends where there, his arm around her shoulder. Potter gave me an eye and I returned it. He looked away after that. 

     I soon found Crabbe and Goyle. They muttered some kind of greeting and we got on to the train. We started talking and about a half an hour or so later, we were off. After a while, Narcissa, Lacey, and a bunch of other girls walked in, speaking in rapid French. I assumed the new girl was around. They stopped and introductions began, half in French, half in English. I learned that the new girl was named Marie Âme. Marie was extremely beautiful. She had dark brown hair and ice blue eyes. Her English was pretty good, and when she spoke it was adorable. 

    "Lucius, may I ask you a question?" "Sure." I said. "You have a brother, am I correct?" "I do. His name is Gabriel." "He looks like you?" "Yes. We look very much alike." "He is handsome, like you." I felt myself blush. I caught Narcissa looking at me, with a small smile on her face. She quickly turned away, and started to talk with Lacey. 

    The door of our compartment creaked open. Severus and Andrew walked in, and another round of introductions began. Marie took an immediate interest in Andrew, and they talked until we arrived at school. The train stopped and everyone got up except Narcissa. "What's wrong?" I asked. She looked up at me with her glacial blue eyes. "Nothing. Just thinking." she answered softly, with a small smile. I held out my arm. "Come on, we better go, or we'll get a bad carriage." She giggled. I liked it when she giggled, her smile... the way her voice filled the room... 

     We got into the Great Hall, and Professor Dumbledore had Marie sorted before the new first years. She became a Slytherin, much to Andrew's happiness. We sat in a tight pack, almost like how Potter, Lily and their friends sat. Lily looked my way, and winked, our code for, "Don't Forget!". I smiled back at her. That year, Ravenclaw got a bunch of good ones. I remembered that we gained two air heads, a chubby menacing boy, a bunch of chattery ones, a snotty boy, and a quiet but extremely brilliant girl. It wasn't a real gain for Slytherin, except for that brilliant girl, who'd one day turn a bunch of us death eaters in. 

     The feast seemed to go on and on, but finally it ended. Three more hours until I got to see Lily, and possibly work up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend. I sat in the common room, until the clock chimed midnight. I quietly went into my room, and took out my invisibility cloak I had bought two years ago with birthday money. I quickly tried snuck out of the dorms. I raced up the cold stone steps up to the Prefects's toilet. And there she was, standing there, radiant with beauty. Her beautiful hair, her magnificent green eyes... my heart still skips a beat every time I remember her this way. 

    "Lily?" Her smile melted my heart. "Lucius! I thought you would never arrive!" I smiled. "Why wouldn't I?" Good God, I was a nervous wreck. The smile on her face quickly melted away into sadness. "We can't meet here anymore. I'm sorry." She took my hand. "I'm really sorry Lucius. But I do think it's for the best. For the both of us." Lily looked deeply into my eyes, and my soul. I pulled her into a kiss, and she didn't pull away. When we did, she smiled sadly. And it faded. She looked down at the floor, and then, slowly, looked at my face again, studying me. Lily placed a silken hand on my cheek. "I'm really sorry Lucius. I wish you the best..." she trailed off. Tears gathered into her emerald eyes, and she ran away. I looked at her in utter disbelief, and I knew that my friendship with Lily Evens, and whatever little romance we had, was officially over. 

And my world came crashing down. 


	4. Part Three

**Memoirs of a Malfoy   
Part Three**

*.* 

    God was punishing me. I knew He was. I never felt so much anger towards Potter and Company in my life. I wanted Potter to pay. Yet I didn't know how. Gabriel, in his final year and head boy, was kind to me. He helped me through. And of course there was Narcissa. Dear, sweet, beautiful, Narcissa. She was my angel in disguise. My savior. And to this day, she still is. 

    And I'm grateful for her. 

    I remember waking up early one morning. It was three or four o'clock. The sky outside was still dark, and threatening. Just like how I felt. Everyone else was still asleep. I got out of bed and washed up. It was around the time of finals, so I thought I would study some more before breakfast. The rumble of thunder was heard. How ironically perfect this all fit my mood. 

    I trampled down the stairs like I owned the bloody place, and strutted towards the chairs with the high backs by the fireplace. And that's where I saw her, sleeping. My anger and resentment quickly melted away, and was replaced with awe. 

    She looked like an angel. 

    Her pristine features were illuminated by the haunting light of the roaring fire. Her blonde hair draped over part of her face, her oval shaped face where were cradled in her arms, her long, cream colored legs draped over one arm of the chair, and a heavy quilt covered her mid-section. I reached out to touch her, to brush away the hair over her eyes, but couldn't bring myself to do so. I was so afraid of Narcissa after that. Even now I'm still afraid that I can break her. Sometimes, at night, I just watch her, wondering why she never left me, and taking Draco with her... 

    I watched her for awhile before she began to stir. "Narcissa..." I whispered. Her eyes opened, and she looked at me, the way Lily did during our last encounter. "Lucius..." she replied, softly. I smiled. "Studying, I see." She laughed. "I was trying to. I couldn't keep my eyes open! History of Magic is such a dreadful subject." "It's interesting!" I countered. "It's just Professor Binns... well, no matter! We can study together!" She smiled softly. "Let's sit by the fire." 

    And we really did study. Narcissa and I made top marks in our house that year. Still not high enough to surpass Potter and Lily, but I was finally beginning to feel at ease again. 

    That night, I gained a best friend. Narcissa and I wouldn't begin to date until our fifth year, much to our parents' delight. I couldn't even think of her as my wife at the time. I though Narcissa was beautiful, intelligent, and fun to be with, I also believed she was too good for me. So, I didn't bother to pursue her. She was to good a friend to lose due to a failed relationship, and deep inside, I was still in love with Lily. I told that to Narcissa. She was there to comfort me and to listen. Narcissa and I would tell each other everything, and for a long time, she was the only one who understood me. 

*.*

    Gabriel was the prize of our House. Head Boy. Charming. Handsome. He was like a mini celebrity. I watched him with his female companions. He was sweet as honey and quite charming. I learned a lot from my older brother. Many of it I used before Narcissa and I were wed. I learned how to make woman swoon for me, just by a look, or even a smile. Gabriel was quite amused when I thanked him the day of his own wedding. "Lucius, I might have been a good teacher, but most of it came from here." he told me, pointing to my heart. I smirked, the classic Malfoy smirk. And he mirrored it. 

    As much as I looked up to Gabriel and loved him dearly, I also was caught in his shadow, and I hated him for it. I was to do just as well as him, or better. Father wasn't too happy when I told him of Potter. "We're Malfoys! We come from a long line of tradition!" he would say. "But, Father, I'm still at the top!" "Number two is not good enough for a Malfoy. Lucius, you better get you act together! If you don't raise your grades by at least two points, I'll take you off the Quidditch team!" This really did kill me. I was to be captain next year. So I had no choice. My grades went up about four points. But Potter also went up. He nearly had perfect grades. Father finally gave up on me. "At least you're number two." he would say. 

    I had disappointed him again. 

*.*

    The summer before my fifth year, Narcissa and her parents came to visit often. My parents and her parents were friends from school and other things, which is odd since I never met Narcissa until our first year. Narcissa looking beautiful as ever, was a great joy to be around. We'd sit in my room all day and night talking. Around this time, I'd realized how much in love I was in with Narcissa. She had no troubles in the world, except her parents on her back for not making top marks in our year. 

    And so our fifth year began. By mid year, I wanted Narcissa, and being a Malfoy, I would get her. No matter what the cost. That was also the same time Lily and Potter started having problems. 

    "Hello, Lucius." Lily said to me one night, after dinner. "Lily." I replied. She looked beautiful. Her auburn hair shining, her green eyes glowing with sheer delight upon seeing me. "How was your summer and winter holiday?" she asked. "Good. Narcissa and I saw each other often." Lily's eyes narrowed. "Narcissa Russell?" I nodded. Jealousy was written all over her eyes. "Are you two seeing each other?" she demanded. "That is none of your business." I snapped. Jealousy, pain, and sadness washed across her perfect face. Guilt bubbled inside of me. 

    "But, no, we're not together." I added, gently. A few minutes of silence followed. Lily put a hand to my cheek. "Follow me Lucius." she commanded in a soft voice. I nodded weakly. I followed her through a series of corridors and through two doors. We stopped inside an empty Charms room. 

    And she kissed me. 

    One of those long, passionate kisses that brought all my feelings for Lily rushing back. When she pulled away, she whispered, "I always loved you, Lucius. I'll always love you. But James... James and I just feel so right. You and I... We're... we're just like sexual attraction. You're the type to fool around with, and well... James is the type to bring home to my parents." 

    My heart sank. It was like being slapped in the face. I stepped away from her. "What do you mean by that?" Lily looked at me innocently, and slowly her eyes traveled down to the floor. "You're family's male reputation... of being playboys..." Anger surged through my body. "And what makes you think I'm like that? I thought you knew me better!" "Lucius..." she whispered. Lily reaches out for me. I stepped back again. "No. Don't. Lily... I've loved you for a long time... and well... I just don't know anymore..." My heart was breaking, but I had to stay strong. Malfoy men don't show weaknesses. " Why don't you go back to Potter?" I spat. " I'm through with wasting my time on you... I've got Narcissa... and she loves me for me! Not for the damn legacy my ancestors left me!" I stormed out, Lily in tears. 

    And I didn't care... much. 

    That night, I snuck into the girls dorms, crawled into bed with Narcissa, and held her in my arms the whole night. She listened to what happened with patience and sympathy. As I watched Narcissa sleep, I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend my whole life with. Deep inside, I hope she felt the same way, too. 


End file.
